The world perception of father, so on average each person generally agrees that to be a successful father and husband you need to make money. In other words, the are fixated on taking care of their families which is not bad. However, in their ambitions, if the family is not taken into account in how he spends his time with them marriages and families start to suffer. The man becomes blind to what matters most in his life and in the life of his family and though the goal is okay, he hurts more then expected. This is because a man's role in the home is not only to provide, but to preside. Presiding in simple definition means to lead, to be a leader in the home. He can't effectively do this when he is away nor can he if he doesn't take an active interest in the his families lives. When father spends more time at home, if he chooses to preside, everyone in the home feels more secure, safe, and a greater amount of peace. I know this is the case with my family, though I did not have a dysfunctional family and this may not be the case in all families, but if a father is doing their job as a spouse and a dad, the effect takes place within the home. When father is absent for extended periods of time homes miss out on level-headedness and leadership that the father can provide. Mom feels more like a single parent, having to deal with all the homely stresses alone. This often leads to feelings frustration and overall being overwhelmed being drained in all capacities as a mom. In order to prevent "work distancing", when the father spends to much time at work and not enough time at home, communication, making inspired decisions, making quality time, and realizing that success is not money can prevent this effect. This is because the man and woman counsel together, they can make an informed decision together, as they should in marriage, on the different factors of time at work and home. 

In society, the identity of the father is being lost amidst the goals of money and power in life. I do not recall an instance where anyone on their deathbed recalls and wishes that they had gained more money. It is more often then not, "I wish I had spent more time with my family". We can all be happy without excessive amounts of money in our lives. If we center ourselves around the family, around our loved ones we will not only be happy, but relationships strengthen and hardships are more readily able to be dealt with. Many marriages today fail because of financial reasons, whether it is time the man spends away or the fact that couples are divided on how to use it and are uncompromising, being present is the most important thing we can do as men to help our families. (I have written other blogs on communication and how spouses can learn to get along with one another) but families are being destroyed because of what has been mentioned above. When families are torn apart by divorce, not only do children suffer, but the original relationship between man and wife is shattered. Broken hearts left behind because of one issue or another and it sets both parties back emotionally, mentally, and physiologically. I plead that through better communication and a realignment of goals will help our families instead of break them apart. Set goals to change if there isn't satisfaction in your marriage or relationships. We can all choose to be different and be the difference in our families success.

Communication is huge today in our society. It links us, in an inexpensive and all encompassing way. Yet as human beings we still are failing to make sense of the sheer amount, let alone one on one communication of each other and those around the world. Instead of growing up having good conversations face to face with each other suddenly vanished and has been replaced by cell phones with texting ability. In my lifetime I grew up with this reality in middle school, and now this is affecting kids in elementary school or even earlier. This overdose of synthetic communication inhibits face to face interaction and breeds a lack of confidence in face to face communication. This is because instead of developing good habits of communication, or just simply a lack of the practice thereof, are stunted in each method of communication. These three areas are verbal, non-verbal, and visual communication that is delivered. Each message we send, and individual "codes and sends" to another who then "decodes, processes, codes, then re-sends a message" whether this communication is verbal or not, we have a tendency to miss communicate or miss understand what another person is trying to tell us, simply because we have failed or have yet to develop the necessary pathways in order to understand one another. However, even with the system of understanding in place, we can still misinterpret the communication we receive, these factors may include our emotional state, alertness, attention, and willingness to receive or believe a message. A good example of this may be tuning out your spouse, both your willingness to receive the communication and your attention are missing and compromise the entire system. So does it surprise you that today so many people are confused with a variety of subjects as broad as religion to politics. The media we receive today is vast, and it takes energy to process this information we receive. Due to our abilities or lack thereof to process communication many stories or information are bloated out of proportion to the point where some may believe in it. This makes being source critical of where our information comes from the more important, because if we are not careful, we will not understand the information given to us, and be mislead. This can lead us to making the world a more hostile and negative place, where understanding of one another is impossible simply because we came to the wrong conclusion about one another, or one subject or another. This is the challenge of my generation and all generations that are present today. If we fail to communicate, families will fall, strife will rise, and isolation and its close friend depression will continue to rise.

There is hope, one of the ways that I will be instilling in my family unit is the consoling communication. It too is a process, but one that conveys love and openness to any that are present.   1. Express Love
 2. Prayer
 3. Discuss to consensus (Lord’s will)
 4. Prayer
 5.    Have a treat

I know that this is extremely twisted to a religious sense, however, it both allows for positive communication and easy understanding of one another. I have had it in my home before, though not nearly as fleshed out, I have faith in, and see the blessings that will come if we apply this modal to our lives as we interact and discuss certain topics with one another.