Preparing for marriage is a very interesting topic because its dynamic has changed so much with the technology that has developed. Technology has a major impact on how we date and how much communication takes place. There are apps for meeting people and texting to stay in contact whenever we please. But does a constant stream of texts make or break a relationship? For myself if I text a person too much, I end up not having anything to talk about when I see them in person. The same thing goes when I hang out with friends to often, I find my relationship whether that’s romantic or not weakened because we fail to connect due to over communicating. A way to circumvent this is to limit your communication via technology or at least find topics you can talk about other then your daily grind, that way you can have meaningful conversations with the people around you. Something that I learned, and frankly started to get tired of was all the planning that goes into a date. I got tired of trying to be creative and just wanted to do something I knew a girl liked rather then trying to guess. In a class I am taking on campus, my teacher took a poll of all the girls in the room who preferred a date that was planned and specific and nearly every girl’s hand,  about 15-20 hands, went up and it shocked and surprised me. This also strengthened my resolve. For any man struggling to figure out ideas on what to do for a date, I would suggest first deciding what you would like to do and make a list of things you think would be feasible. Good dating qualities to have are planning, scheduled time for pick up and drop off, and clear communication between what you expect of each other, meaning like setting up a second date. While on the date I would encourage all men to find a way to provide, preside, and protect on each date. For every woman I would suggest clear communication of feedback (how you liked the date) and showing appreciation for whatever, the guy may have planned. This is huge, especially for me, because I am seeking ways I can improve, I know I won’t be offended, and if a guy really likes you he would be willing to change and seek to include your interests in dating. This would really help any man when he is planning a date.

My second point about dating would be that there is a clear difference between hanging out and dating. What is interesting to note is that I used to think they were one and the same. I learned differently, I learned that dating requires a sort of pairing and dedication to another. Hanging out is loose, there is no pairing, nor is there any dedication. It becomes harder to communicate to a specific person. The expectations in hanging out are far lower and loose then on a date. A date creates responsibility, hanging out does away with it.

Finally, getting to know a person takes time. I have learned that it takes a minimum of three months to begin to get to know a person. Over this time period both shared experiences and communication are needed to get to understand them as a person. If these things aren’t happening, then it is likely you don’t know a person’s character. To me it is important to know a person before dedicating myself to them. However, the path to accomplish this takes a lot of time and a lot of energy. If you’re not dedicated to put an amount of time into a relationship, then it will suffer and eventually die. Thanks for reading this week’s blog!